One Big Stupid Giant

One Big Stupid Giant.. is me..
Well, basically i said that cos.. *hmpfh* you'll understand if you read my post below.. i mean last post.. *that's an IF* cuz unless you understand indonesian language.. or you wouldn't be able to understand every single thing that i wrote on that thing..

I gotta be strong.. I know it might be hard for me. but, everything has it's own time..
So, yeaps i completely begin to giggle and smile cuz of what i done.. i'm crying cuz i miss a girl??.. oh shit.. c'mon *but i'm sure i'll do that again in another 10 days maybe*..

My back hurts a lot!.. and i feel i want to cry everytime i want to get up from sitting position to stand up position and vice versa., It occured bcos of Allen Iverson The Fastest Player in NBA.. hmm i blame him!!, because of his Crossover.. i mean, it happens when i learn how to do AI (Abbreviation for Allen Iverson) crossover..

but yeah now it's not that painfull anymore.. ytd.. i didn't sleep!!.. i stayed up the whole night.. Saturday night!!!.. well, usually i went to sleep.. but this time i didn't!!.. i'm darn stupid.. i'm waiting for a my "SPECIAL GIRL" to reply my Wall in Facebook.. so i stayed.. but then i felt bored, and took my jacket from wardrobe, then walk outside.. i'm not alone.. i'm with my friends, but in the end only 2 of us left.. the rest are sleepy and went back home..

phew.. We're patrolling around our housing complexs.. (i don't know how to write complexs so i'm usng complex) anyway.. i felt a bit scary too, not bcus of "CHANCE" that a robber might showed up infront of me.. i'm big and i'm strong i can take him down in less than 20 secs.. what i'm scared off if!! something which are not "HUMAN" showed off in front of me and start laughing.. phew.. i'm scared if i imagining it..

but whatever.. i'm going to focused 100% on basketball.. i hope i won't be bothered by any girls again.. i'm tired of getting hurt by girls again.. I'm sick of it.. i'm just hoping too much.. but in the end.. i'm always be the one who losed out.. I wonder how i can escape from all of this things..
well i'm taking it easy.. i know who am i.. and i know my limit..

Some girls out there might love me really deep.. it's just that they never show it to me.. but if they did.. i couldn't notice it cuz i'm not that senstive towards girls feeling.. but whatever.. basketball really pushing me 100% to the max.. i really want to avoid any relationship.. yeah, i hope i can.. well if i can't then.. i don't know..

but whatever i do.. it's because i always trying to be nice to you..

Dan Ternyata

kenapa harus ada harapan??, kenapa harus ada cinta??, dan kenapa harus ada dia.
kenapa aku berfikir bahwa aku masih punya harapan.. Harapan agar dia bisa menyukaiku??..

Aku sakit.. Aku tak tidur semalaman. menunggu balasan. tapi semua sia2.. aku begitu bodohnya menunggu layaknya seorang pujangga paling hebat didunia.
Tapi akhirnya dikecewakan.

Dan Ternyata.. Aku memang terlalu mencintainya. tak bisa hidup tanpa dia. yang tak bisa tenang tanpa memandang senyumannya. Mungkin aku juga terlalu bodoh, mengharapkan cinta yang ga bisa tercapai.. Harusnya aku sadar. Dari dulu. Dengan wajah bodoh ini harusnya aku bisa berkaca, menatap perihnya semua. Harusnya aku cari yang biasa. Harusnya aku ga jatuh cinta dengan dia.. Tapi semua sudah terjadi. Kini aku terperangkap dalam jerat mimpiku sendiri.

Menangis dalam sepi, Tersenyum dalam luka. Ya Allah, Jika aku boleh meminta.. hanya satu pintaku.. Jagalah dia, Dia Jauh Dariku, Aku Tak lagi bisa mengawasinya, Menjaganya dan memanjakannya lagi. Ya Allah Hilangkan lah Kerinduanku padanya.

Bila Aku Harus Jujur.. Aku Sangat Menderita. Hidup Tanpa Dirinya. Setiap 9 hari sekali. aku tak dapat menahan air mataku untuknya.. Dia seseorang yang aku ga bisa hidup tanpa keberadaanya.. Cintaku padanya telah terlalu besar. sebagaimana Adam dan Hawa..

Hawa Tercipta Dari Tulang Rusuk Adam..
Bukan Dari Kepalanya Untuk Dijadikan Atasan..
Bukan Dari Kakinya Untuk Dijadikan Bawahan..
Melainkan Dari Sisinya Untuk Dijadikan Teman Hidupnya..
Dekat Pada Lengan Untuk Dilindunginya..
Dan Dekat Di Hati Untuk Dicintainya..

Updates..

Hmmm... It's been a while.. since i update my blog..

Happy New Year For Everyone!!!

Huarrrhmmm... i'm so soo sooo bored in here.. Pontianak is not a best place to relief your boredomness.. lolz..
hmm anyway.. i'm trying to make my self busy.. well, i did part time job.. but still bored. i hate the manager.. damn bossy.. so i quit the job..

Believe it or not.. I'm getting fatter and fatter.. i can't control my diet nowadays.. starting today i'm going to lose someweight.. my breath getting heavier cos of this.. and jeezz cus of that.. my stamina drops too.. Indonesian food are too tempting.. i couldn't resist hahaxx...

Sometimes, I thought about my High School memories.. wheew.. it makes me sad somehow.. but most of the time i'm always happy..

Yeah.. i gotta fix lots of my problems.. I'm getting my OFFICIAL DRIVING LICENSE hehe.. cuz last time i faked it.. and then Problems with some stupid unknown stranger.. Problems with my Car battery gotta refill the Acidic Liquid..
Hmmm Problems with my Lappy and PC... Problem that involve my friends.. hmm should i mention one by one???.. naah.. i got lots of problems to solve hehehe..

Anyway.. For the record. I might continue my study in Kuching again (Damn It!!!)... IF.. i can't get into Singapore Poly.. which i always dream to enter... hufff... hahah :P

And also i'm happy my wounds are recovered already.. so you could see my handsome face again Hohoho...

hmmmmm..... i would like to Recommend you guys who likes to Read Manga, Downloading Anime Ost, Watching Anime.. to visit this site http://www.manga4otaku.com/

however you have to become the member of this site to enable some features that only member can access.. Don't worry i'm one of the STAFF there (hohoh proud!! lolz) just PM me in raffi_lock@hotmail.com i'll help you guys in downloading and stuffs..

I'll online everyday in that site.. soo yup.. as an extra info.. it's not only contain Anime and Manga.. it's also contain NEWEST English Songs.. and NEWEST indoensian song (cos of my efforts lolz).. however i still have to upload more songs in Indonesian category.. But Anyway.. you can request the song in the site.. The Other staff and me will try to provide you with the service...

http://www.manga4otaku.com/ don't forget it.. hmm..

4 Am

Jam 4 Pagi.. 4 AM

Whew!!,, I can't sleep.. i can heard those people in mosque near my house is reading al-quran. sounds nice too.

hmm, Ive got nothing to say btw, cos i've wrote everything in indonesian language.. in my Indonesian blog http://www.raffi-indo.blogspot.com/

only indonesian could understand :P

haha.. anyway.. in short. right now i'm in turmoil state.. is turmoil a correct word to describe it.. i don't know.. but what i felt right now is completely annoying me..

ok.. it felt like.. when you did something which is mean to somebody and you just realised it.. Ohh yea yea. the word is "guilty" hmm "regret".. aahh.. whatever..

Oi Katrina if you read this blog.. don't forget to link me!!... grrr,,, you told me 2 days ago that you'll link me!!.... hahaha.. kidding..

More And More..

More and More.. Lagi dan Lagi in indonesian.. Hahaha..

Today was unbeliveable, crazy stuff happens, but that doesn't mean that i'm happy. I'm pissed like shit!!, today completely piss me OFF!!. Why in the hell.. i'm in bad luck today.

once more i got wounded.. not bcos of accident.. but other stuff.. well it's a little cut.. hmm but it's not to small.. can't explain it haha..

first of all, it begins since early morning. i fell from my bed cos i had a nightmare. then when i want to take a bath. i slipped on that fucking wet floor. i bang my head to the wall cos of it. Then!! this stuff starting to becoming more and more violent. wkwk. on the afternoon i was trying to fix my mom's car.. it won't start so i'm planning to use a jumper to ignite the car. not that "IGNITE" but ignite to start the engine.

So, there are no jumper in my house.. those crocodile clip to jump the electrical current i meant. so no choice, then i move my dad's accu(car battery) to my mom's car. my hand was wet cos i accidentally drop the car's oil. Fortunately i'm don't lift it high enough. you know what happen next. i lose the grip then the battery fell. hit my leg. I scream like "ARGHH!!" louder than Tom when he got stabbed with fork by jerry.. After That!!, fuckin crazy keep happening..

Once i moved that battery, i ask my mom to ignite the car.. but then she do it too fast.. i wasn't ready. as a result i got shocked cos of the electricity produced by the battery. phew. lucky i didn't faint. but my pointing finger got burned.. it's ok now, but the heat.. i still feel it till now.

on the afternoon, i left my wallet when i was buying things in the grocery. on the evening a dog chase me when i was jogging fuck fuck fuck!! why in the hell those stuff happening..

fortunately now nothings happen.. but i hope tomorrow will be my lucky day.. i don't want to suffer again!!.. Well,, this stuff might happen bcos you might hate me.. or you don't like me.. well i'm sorry for what i've done.. hahaha.. well that is only one of the factor.. i don't blame you for all this.. hahaha..

well just hope tomorrow will be lot better

The Refresher

I'm in No mood for writing but,.. thanks to "IT". it does change my mood, what a refresher.. haha.. curious??..

The Reason was, I bought a new guitar , haha.. it's been 3 days since it become one of the member in my house aside from my E-guitar and Keyboard.

Yamaha Classic, FG-325. i bought it for Rp.250k about Rm80.
Cheap, i know you're all going to say that.. but don't get it wrong suckers.. haha,, this is my best guitar ever..

Since i love to sing and guitaring. this sure change my mood. thanks to it too, now i can start composing again.. until recently. there's only 2 songs that i could compose. it takes time of course..

This dude always makes me happy. when i'm sad, when i'm down. those melodies and sounds always come out from that string. when i play it. i think we both become one.. fusion..
this thing always and always be a part in my life..

I want to thank it. for helping me to get through everything.. especially during the day when i broke up. cih.. i don't want to remember it again..

anyway.. tips from me.. if you want your guitar to produce a louder sound.. put a black pepper in it. the seed one.. not the powder.. cos it's hot, it'll produce a louder sound.. if you put the powdered one.. ckckck.. i can't imagine.. how smelly and ah.. can't imagine.. wkkwwk.. i tried it and it works!!!... hahaha.. another method is!.. when you dry-ing your guitar after you clean it.. just get it on a sunbathing.. i'm sure it'll works.. i never tried it.. but my friend does.. so hahah.. try it if you wanna know the outcome!!..

A Better Life..

Sighz. broke up, just like what i told in the last post.. Now i sounds like a fuckin' playboy. keep breaking up with girls..

In fact. I'm not the one whom asking for this thing.. well it's not my fault too why they fell in love with me. i've been trying all the time to be a good boyfried to them. wkwk.. well well.. that's past. this breaking thingy doesn't have a connection with dissapointment or anything else. it's about cultural-tradition issue.. i've no other choice.
well.. if you're indonesian. my feeling is like the song Yovie & Nuno - Sempat Memiliki .

sighs, 3 more months to go before college starts. but it doesn't matter. i've to enjoy by then. wkwkw..

2009, Whew. I hope this year will be great, my targets for 2009 will be tough but i know i can do it.
Be the top student in college, Be the Ace in college basketball club, work during holiday.
and also. find a GF wkwkwk.. haha.. that's for fun only.. External motivator to make me want to study harder. Lose some weight hahaha!!.. i'm getting fatter in Pontianak. too much temptation. Extremely delicious food.. *drool* lolz

I won't worry. i know there are lots of things that could make me fail. but i won't give up. heh..
I'm Raffi.. who doesnt know me??.. lolz. XP

Oh yeah.. now i'm becoming more and more interested in basketball esp streetball. and Photography.. whew.. i'm learning how to do some impossible tricks. (that is what they say ,actually it is possible.. it's just that those tricks are in the EXPERT level). and yeah.. i love to take some Macro pictures.. and landscapes too.. haha.. i'm not too good in taking those scenery but yeah.. i love it..

2009.. I hope i'll enjoy a better life.. bye bye high School.. bye bye teachers.. wkwkwk.. (cos i'll never call them teachers again.. it'll be lecturers).. heh.. whatever..

This is the scenery that i love the most.. In Jungkat Beach.. well i'm still a noob in this picture thingy. well,i'm sorry if the pict doesn't look too good..