My Sorrow and My Pain

What am i suppose to do!!, What is wrong. I Couldn't understand!!.. why i'm disgusting. why i'm friggin show off.. WHY!!!.. I'm Sorry!.. Ok, fine you block me. fine. or maybe you delete already.
but,
where is your feeling..
i stay single just for you. i break up bcos of you. i cry because of you. do i deserve all the pain.
how am i suppose to do. to make you understand. to make you want to hear everything.
My love for you were for nothing. it's all bullshit in your eyes. i want to call you in your birthday, but i'm afraid you'll reject my call. so I SMS. i even don't know will that message will ever reach your phone. all my efforts are for nothing.

Everytime. Every second. there's nothing in my mind except you. do you know how much love i keep inside my heart??.. do you know??. i'm here.. writing this.. so that you could hate me more. Hate me more. it's too painfull for me. it's not fair for me. i'm here waiting. hoping. day dreaming. praying. while you are there laughing at me. insults me.

I'm waiting till like 2am just want to know when you're going to sleep. cos you had those eye bags. and fuck. i'm praying for your happiness everytime i pray. i want you to forgive me.
but it's all for nothing.
If you could compare every guy that ever loved you with me. you'll understand. i'm sorry i hurt you. i'm sorry.
but starting today, you'll never hear a single thing about me loving you again. instead of loving. i'm trying to hate you too.. it's all too painful. to painful to bear. i could cry if keep continue writing this post.

I gotta move on, just like before.. i love you and i never regret it.. no matter how hard you hit me with your words. no matter how much pain you give it to me. no matter how deep you hate me.. i still love you.
one more thing. it was me to dare rivaldi to tell everything inside my science book to you. i'm hoping that you'll give me a good respond. but it's all bullshit. i knew it. but i'm trying.

So, goodbye. thankyou and congratulations, i hate you..